Today’s writing is après vacation bliss. I am still leisurely and intentional with my tasks. The pseudo-heaviness of life is still noticeably absent. This is a frame of mind I (not so long ago) only dreamed of possessing.
The bad news—it will pass. The good news—I already know this (and I’m good with it).
This ideal that I will actually arrive in this place of serenity and remain there permanently has finally been busted. (While my hope is that this is written somewhere in my soul’s journey, I no longer chase it here on Earth.)
One of the better gifts of long term sobriety is that I started getting okay with what is. And in the getting okay with what is I find that I am happy. My expectation of self and others begins to unravel. I see that while I’ve made mistakes, I can grow from them and, more importantly, none of them are unforgivable. I appreciate that people are doing their best (no matter how shabby it might have once appeared). Their mistakes are for their growth, and yes, they are all forgivable too.
This is the polar opposite of how I thought in my previous identity.
All this brings me to the intention of today’s post. The work we are doing here at OGEL Coaching (Ordinary Goal ~ Extraordinary Life) is blowing me away. I am simply out of time to read and comment as I have tried so diligently to do. Most of the blogs I follow are incredibly written, far better than my own. Yet, I am finding it demanding to work as a coach and still be impeccably “social.”
In a world that prizes social numbers, I am no longer enamored by them. They aren’t authentic. Too often they are numbers for a number’s sake. People endorse or follow but the intention is convoluted. It is not a show of interest or appreciation for my cause. It is a luring of a return endorsement for their cause. Don’t get me wrong, I want support and I want to give support. I just do not want it given with blindness.
I don’t want to get addicted to chasing the wrong things—again. When I am chasing the wrong thing, I am missing the opportunity to genuinely help—to genuinely listen.
Old Identity: I want my numbers to look good so you’ll like me.
New Identity: My numbers suck; they may or may not change. It doesn’t matter. I am instrumental in people radically changing the trajectory of their life after doing the work suggested in Sober Identity. I am seeing a complete 180° in people’s perspective after 30, 60, and 90 days of life skills coaching.
Every day I get emails of appreciation. Every day I swell with gratitude. Every day I wonder why we aren’t teaching these principles and laws to our beautiful children as a primary course of curriculum in our schools.
[We are not because as a society we are not equipped to. But I am, and so are many of you. As a matter of opinion, recovered addicts are the best teachers. They have had to learn. Their very life has depended upon learning and applying new principles; upon being teachable and teaching.]
Addiction is the epidemic of our time. There is no where one can look and not see it. And no amount of research can change this fact. No pill can fix what is only repaired with love. Love wrapped in knowledge of what and who we truly are.
Until we find a new way to fill the void we are headed in the wrong direction.
The trajectory of my life has been nothing short of f*ng miraculous.
All because I was teachable.
All because I was willing to listen.
All because I was chose to do it a different way than I thought it should be done.
I am watching this happen on a daily basis.
All because you are teachable.
All because you are willing to listen.
All because you are chose to do it differently than you thought it should be done.
I wish I could give the newly sober what I have inside. I cannot. It is not a thing to be given, but a thing to be earned. It is the difference between receiving an Olympic gold medal because you won and buying one at an auction. The earner of the medal possesses something far greater than the piece of gold. They possess a knowing of what and who truly lives within them.
Summary to a long post:
- Hiatus is good for the soul.
- I will be writing, reading, and commenting less on blogs, but still supporting and loving as time permits.
- I am completely committed to the work in Sober Identity. Through OGEL Coaching we now have a four week self-study email course for those interested in deeper inquiry and awakening. There is a 6-week online class “I Am Enough” coming fall 2013. There are plans for a 2014 weekend sanctuary.
- I choose to live my life being teachable.
- The rewards of facing change (new identity) far outweigh the discomfort (busting the old identity).
- This blog is about falling in love with who you are. Because you are worth falling in love with. When you love who you are … addiction ceases its vice grip.