This post finds me at a crossroad.
I want to talk about recovery … the sober life … But I feel like a hypocrite.
So in the spirit of authenticity I will talk today about the personal hurdles I am facing these next weeks. Without detail I am having health issues. I start a 28-day detox this Tuesday. Not an alcohol detox, but a body (aka colon) detox.
I am scared, pissed, irritated, angry, and confused.
I’ve spent the week pondering:
- “Why me?”
- “Maybe there’s another way?”
- “I’ll do anything but this.”
- “What if …?”
I just want to back out of the whole thing. I want to wake up and believe it’s all a bad dream. Problem is … I’m not waking up. So I carry around these feelings that I’d rather not have, question things that needn’t be questioned, and escape with television.
With the exception of a brief moment at the market, the thought of drinking has not been an issue. Thursday night I passed my ex-favorite chardonnay in the grocery aisle and the little bear on the label said, “Hi.” Continue reading